Touhoustuck: The Epic Story of Weeabro
by Pyukarin
Summary: Weeabro is a normal everyday school kid, but one day while he is watching the anime this girl appears out of the screen! She says that he has to save their world from this evil tyrant, and Weeabro complies with her. What will happen now?
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning!

Touhoustuck: The Best Touhou and Homestuck Crossover Ever!

Everything began when a young man named Weeabro was watching the anime. Weeabro loved the anime, the anime was his life. So was his fascination with imoutos and lolis. Sadly, he was also falling asleep while watching the anime. This means wonderful things.

So when he was watching the anime, this young looking girl with long, blonde hair (a part of it was tied up into a long side braid with a white ribbon) covered in witch garb came out of the screen. "Hey mister!" the girl shouted, she was very pretty and looked like a perfect loli, Weeabro couldn't help but blush a lot when he stared into her piercing, yellow eyes. "You're that guy named Weeabro aren't you?" she shouted, again.

"H-Hai!" Weeabro couldn't help but squeek a tiny bit of his Japanese knowledge when she said his name, it was like they were meant to be together... some sort of fate! In reality, he's not sure but he really wants to bang her.

The girl smirked. "Heh heh, you gotta come with me!" she replied with a grin "You see, you're the chosen one who has to save our world!"

"Chosen one who has to save our world!"

Those words made Weeabro go through a realisation phase in his head, just like in the anime. He's a chosen hero now? And this cute girl is asking him to save her world? He knew that this could mean that he's in for a spectacular adventure, an amazingly actiony one just like... his eroge.

"Holy shit I am definitely coming with you if I have to save your world! By the way will you go out with me" Weeabro exclaimed, he knew that this was going to be a fabulous adventure that he will neeeeeeeever forget.

"Oh thank fuck you are! And no what the hell are you going on about" She sounded like this sort of thing happened to her a lot, and with her looks and body it was not a surprise at all. "By the way, the name's Kirisame Marisa ze!"

"Marisa-chan... such a kawaii namae." Weeabro thought, he knew that Kirisame had something to do with rain due to the "ame" so he decided to give her the title of Majestic Drizzle Girl in his head. It was incredibly fitting.

"Anyway, let's go!"

Marisa then kissed Weeabro on the lips and then they instantly teleported to a mysterious world, it is hinted to be the one where Marisa resides in. Although, they were in front of a shrine for some reason.

"Ohhhhhhhhh my god!" Weeabro squealed, he recognised all this shit and it was pretty fucking amazing because he really liked it and wow! "T-This is the Hakurei Jinja! And the ningen who reside here are Hakurei Reimu and Ginji! Sugooooooooooooi~ I cannot believe that I have been teleported to Gensokyo through the means of kissing my future waifu Kirisame Marisa-chan! Oh god, I seriously cannot believe this maybe it's because I bought every single existing dakimakura of her and..."

...

"Also, my hatsu kisu, oh gosh I am so glad that Marisa-chan took it! I hope I took hers too, hehehe..."

After Weeabro said that, tumbleweeds started dashing, like they're not even slow this time they're faaaaaast.

"Yeah, you're in Gensokyo. And i'm going to forget about the last thing you just said right now." Marisa replied in a dry tone, looks like dealing with this freak was going to be extremely tough.

"So, either way," she continued "Reimu isn't here right now. She got kidnapped by this creep, we don't know who he is but he looks awfully suspicious. Apparently, the only way to save her is by playing through Windows Touhou games 6 - 13 and kicking the butts of the characters, including myself."

"The Touhou games? Oh man, I can beat them on Lunatic mode!"

"... hah?" Hearing this, Marisa started blushing like a tsundere, she started thinking "Shit! If he completes them on Lunatic mode that means i'm going to have to do some sort of... super special service for him! Shiiiiiiit... what do I dooooo?"

"Yes, I play them everyday as I sit on my many dakimakuras of you. Why are you so surprised, Marisa-chan?"

"No reason, just that you can't exactly play them on Lunatic mode this time! Haha, yeah... such a shame."

"Doushite?"

"Gee er um I don't really know. That's what the creeper told me."

"Ugh, mendokusai naaaaa... anyway, where are they?" Weeabro inquisitively asked Marisa while staring at her ample chest.

"Oh, they're over there." Marisa answered while pointing to her left, this then made Weeabro pick the cases up and get out his handy "Animetop" where he also watches the anime. He then opened Embodiment of the Scarlet Devil and proceeded to place the disc into this cd player thing and start SAVING GENSOKYO!

"W-Well, i'm not allowed to watch you play the games so i'm going to go home." Marisa stammered, for some reason she was feeling very hot when it was about her internal temperature.

"Are? Chotto-!"

Marisa then ran off to the Forest of Magic while having all of these thoughts run through her head!

"Oh god, why is my heart beating so fast now? And why am I blushing like an idiot? Damnit, whyyyyy?"

Meanwhile, Weeabro was starting up EoSD. Except... something strange was happening to it for some reason.

"Nani sore! What's this weird light- waaaaaaa!"

He got sucked into the animecompy. Who knows what's going to happen...

You can only find out by giving positive reviews. Thank you in advance!


	2. Chapter 2: Rumiachan to DaiCirnosei!

Previously! On Touhoustuck!

Weeabro met Kirisame Marisa from the Touhou and has to save Gensokyo because a creeper kidnapped Reimu! He has to do this by playing the Touhou but for some reason he gets sucked into this compy...!

We'll see what happens in chapter 2!

So Weeabro got sucked into his animecompy while playing EoSD! By the way, he's playing Lunatic mode because for some reason he was allowed to despite Marisa's claims. (hehehehe)

He suddenly finds himself in an area that is reminiscent of stage 1... because it's stage 1 of EoSD.

"Hoooooooly kuso shinjirarenai this is happening woooooooah" Weeabro exclaimed, it then echoed because for some reason Rumia-chan's stage felt hollow and hollow.

Of course, there were some fairies that were approaching him ala like in the Touhou game. Weeabro made quick work of them by using his katana shot type that looked like lasers but they were actually katanas ala Izayoi Sakuya-san style. Anyway, we're gonna skip all of that boring stuff and skip to the boss dialogue featuring Rumia.

Rumia then approached Weeabro and introduced herself in a particularly stereotypical fashion "Ehhhh, who are you? Usually it's either that red white or witch who comes by this areaaaa~"

Of course, Weeabro could only say a couple of things back to her. "Rumia-chan... hontou ni sugoi. Now, let us spar. Like in the Touhou."

"Is that soooo~? Then, i'll be sure to eat you first!" Rumia replied, she licked her lips and then shot out danmaku. We're gonna skip this bit too.

"Damnit~ I'm so hungry~" Rumia wailed in dismay. Coincidentally, her heart was also thumping at an abnormal pace. "Well, this sucks. I'm just going to go back into my corner." she then flew, back into a corner.

"So nanoka? De wa, sayonara Rumia-chan!"

When Rumia heard him say that she felt her heart thump even faster, it was like she was possibly sick with a fever. Actually, she's going to keep thinking that she's got this constant fever that surfaces around Weeabro, yep.

Weeabro then decided to go onto stage 2, featuring the kawaii marukyuu baka Cirno-chan and her friend Great Fairy.

Stage 2 was Misty Lake, the place where Daiyousei and Cirno resided. It was considerably misty, and it sure did look like a lake. So like since he's on Lunatic mode that means that Weeabro's being attacked by all these bullets and there's a fuckin' shitload loooooooooolllll. So, he eventually fights Daiyousei. Cirno's so called friend and possible fuck buddy.

Daiyousei spotted Weeabro and decided to engage in a conversation with him to break the mold where she is usually without dialogue in the Touhou.

"Hm? Oh, a visitor? This is fairly unusual, having one who isn't red nor black and white." Daiyousei was curious, since what she said was the truth. She wondered who this mysterious, handsome totally not covered in zits faced man was.

"Ara, Daiyousei-chan. What's even more unusual is that you are speaking, do you not realise?" Weeabro retorted. Daiyousei then blushed because he was right, but more so than she was! She truly met a family man who could take care of her future children.

"O-Oh... yes, I suppose you really are right. I apologise, but we do have to fight." Daiyousei replied, she said this with a heart thumping feeling in her heart too. She then sprayed danmaku and then blaaaaaaaaaargh

"Y-You must be on your way then, am I right?" she said this while patting the X on her head, it stands for a bump.

"Hai. But, do take care of yourself after I leave, onegai? Ittekimasu~" he breathed out while taking careful pauses in between, he sounded incredibly breathy and sexy whilst doing so.

Weeabro then went on to gently caress Cirno-chan, the well-known so-called idiot who is a possibly not mascot.

"..."

"My... hero~"

So Weeabro ended up losing 1 life during the process of getting to Cirno-chan because he was too busy spying Marisa's hot ass...

"Bluuuuuuuuhhhh i'm the strongest atai wa baka janai tensai da yoooooo!" Cirno yelled out, she sounded quite exhausted while she was doing so. She was probably preparing to say this to the next visitor but ended up saying it like 999999999999999 times.

"... wuh? It's not waki miko or Pimprisa? Wooooooooooooow what happened this time?" she muttered afterwards, men in Gensokyo was like an urban legend. But Weeabro was going to turn that around- I mean what?

"Uwah... Cirno-chan... it really is kimi." Weeabro was speechless. He got to see the immensely popular Cirno even though it might be fictional. Who cares, it's Cirno-chan and he wanted her to freeze Unzan's frog. "Do you know why Reimu-chan isn't available right now?" he asked.

"What? Waki miko isn't at her shrine? I don't knooooooooow, i've only stayed in this spot as far as I know. I know a lot of shit, though." Cirno told Weeabro all of the information she knew about what happened to Reimu. It didn't help, at all.

"But have at you! It is the time where we fight! Advance, or abscond!"

"Uwaaah, you're really STRONG! Stronger than me, actually."

"Mochiron. My Hyper Weapon helps me with grace."

"You know, I really do like guys who are stronger than me. Perhaps we could, sometime after of course, maybe do a little something-"

"Gomenasai, I have to finish playing the Touhou. But, I do really like you Cirno-chan. You are a very nice bishoujo."

Cirno then stared at Weeabro as he turned his back and walked off into a portal that lead to stage 3. She had fallen hard for him, and he wasn't even aware of it.

Oooh Mister Strider ooh

Please rate and review! :)


	3. Chapter 3: Meiling to Koakuma to Pachuri

Chapter 3: Kurenai Misuzu-chan to Koa-kun to Patchouli Noreiji-sama!

As you can see before Weeabro just jammed through Rumia, Daiyousei and Cirno with extreme ease. In the process, he made them hate him. He secretly wanted to build a harem with all of the Touhou, but it doesn't look like he's going too well with that! On the other hand, he's still pining after Marisa and maybe he might bang her with an intense metal rod that screams "I can use the elementals!". Even though he wants a harem, that's so he can treat the girls with respect and so they can feel respected too! His favourite is actually Marisa, don't tell anyone that.

On the other hand, Marisa decided to return to the place where Weeabro started playing EoSD a couple of hours later.

"U-Umm.. i'm sorry about that, Weeabro. Please forgive me for my rude behaviour- wait what the fuck." Marisa was shocked when she realised that Weeabro wasn't slobbering over the Touhou game, but instead she saw him on stage 3 replacing playable Reimu and Marisa on Lunatic mode.

"Oh my god, what have you done this time!" Marisa yelled at the animecompy, she then started to break down into tears because she's worried that Weeabro might never return... if he loses all of his lives, he becomes trapped in the game forever and never returrrrrrrnssssss...

Surprisingly enough, Weeabro, on stage 3, heard Marisa's yelling from the animecompy. "H-Homg... M-Marisa-chaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Weeabro exclaimed while katana throwing at those pesky fairies that shoot a shit load of bullets and then go into hiding.

"E-Eh! Weeabro! You can hear me?" Marisa replied, in a shocked manner.

"Hai, you're a bit too loud though, and what were you crying about?"

"... Weeabro no bakaaaaaaaaaa!"

Marisa then Master Sparked the animecompy and Weeabro is now forever trapped in EoSD forever. God bless his poor soul.

...

Nah just kidding she just yelled that and blushed furiously like a tsundere while Weeabro blushed furiously as well because she returned and was concerned for him. You can smell the sexual tension, that's something his brother's good friend Terezi Pyrope would normally say in these situations.

"Anyway, how the hell did you get inside the game! That's never happened to anyone else before!"

"Wakaranai su~ It just happened when I chose to play on Lunatic mode."

_Oh my god, he really did do it. Ohh... i'm not sure whether I should be overjoyed or not, I mean, he could disappear forever and and he's my very first-_

_What the hell! Get out of here, you perverted reader! Y-You don't have the right to know what i'm thinking!_

"Ano, Marisa-chan? Doko ga iru no?"

"E-Eh? Oh, i'm watching you beat midboss Meiling. Er, i'll just shut up so the story can continue."

We do appreciate how understanding you are, Marisa. Anyway, so Weeabro ended up beating Meiling and continuing, but Meiling had her own thoughts about him as she ran away from him.

"Oh fuck oh fuck we're definitely screwed if he ends up getting past Knowledge and Izayoi and ending up going against the Scarlet sisters fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuckcckckckckcck"

That's all there is to say about them.

So like, Weeabro ended up getting to Meiling as a true boss. And, she also prepared for this moment like Cirno did.

"Yooooooooou cannnnnot defeeeeat meeeeeeeeee! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii aaaaaam the great-"

"Kurenai Misuzu-chan, you can drop the act."

"BLUUUUUUUH MY NAME IS HONG MEILING NOT GODDAMN KURENAI MISUZU OR CHINA!"

"I do know that, I just wanted to express my affection for you by using that nickname."

Meiling then blushed, she was quite shocked to hear that someone didn't use it for mocking or anything like that. This man... he was very mysterious and really really hot.

"Who cares! Let's just fight, because i'm not letting you go past this gate!"

And so they fought and then Meiling started getting a fever and yadda yadda.

Onto stage 4 now! Featuring Koakuma and Patchouli Knowledge.

So Weeabro is now in the Voile or something the resident Scarlet Devil Library, there's a shitload of books and actual sentient books and fairies as well! Also, Patchouli and her faithful assistant Koakuma.

Weeabro had about 2 lives now or something, since he doesn't add any on the options screen because he's THAT hardcore. Thug lyf!

So yeah he went on dodging bullets and earning P items and dodging extra lives to be hardcore until he managed to get up to Koakuma.

Unlike Daiyousei, Koakuma didn't break the mold and simply did not speak before the battle. Instead, she used to telepathy to talk to Patchouli, keeping her up to date on what was happening around her so she can prepare for her fight against Weeabro.

_As _h_e gently caressed his manhood, John decided that he should also take a look at his hot abs. Karkat liked that feeling, it made him feel like a strong, black woman who didn't need no man but in this case he wanted a man who happened to make constant claims about not being a homosexual!_

_omg omg omg i swear u are the best yaoi fanfictioner ever koa-chan!_

_Thank you, Patchouli-sama. I strive to make sure that they are up to your standards. But please, do not flatter me. You are far superior when it comes to this sort of thing, and you are my superior in many cases._

_lmao grl shut ur mouth i do wat i want_

_Oh, but this strange visitor is currently approaching you. Please, be careful. He is considerably strong._

_aw hell no hold my huge book_

_I'm afraid I cannot as we are communicating via telepathy and I lack physical strength._ _And... I do kind of hope that he does win._

Weeabro then went on to face Patchouli Knowledge, the beautiful so called hikikomori who is incredibly powerful when it comes to magical spells. She is also very knowledgeable.

"Oho, Pachuri-kun. You're just as beautiful like in the fanart... but you're lacking your bountiful bust."

"hahaha fuck your shit flat chests are still the bestest"

_What's this! She didn't react properly to my suave swagger pick up line! Oh dear oh dear..._

"Let us just fight..."

And so they fought. And Weeabro lost a life because he was too busy fapping to Marisa x Patchouli in his head. The boy is not normal, I swear.

"omg! i cant believe that i lost to some fucking DOUCHEBAG who wants to get in mari-chan's dress wat a pervert"

"N-Nani! I-I don't love Marisa-chan at all! She's just a partner!"

"hahaha yeah right youve got an unwavering boner right now just imagining her gently caressing you you sick fuck"

...

And so everything will continue on chapter 4.


End file.
